lornagrl

At last a quick swim...

We got out of work at 2pm yesterday so I went out for my first swim.  (I'm not counting the martini addled dip I took on my birthday.)

I am not thrilled with living way out here for a lot of reasons but one of the nicest perks is that I'm right across the street from the beach.  All I have to do is put on a swimsuit, wrap, and flip-flops and walk across the street.  I can do this after work or early on a weekend morning before the beaches get crowded.  In the summer, it truly feels like I'm on vacation.  I didn't get to do this too much last year and the weather has not been cooperating this year.  It seems that every time I have an opportunity to go to the beach, it rains. This happened to me last Saturday.  After helping a friend move, I set out to take a quick dip but as soon as I got into the water I noticed a lightening bolt hitting the water in the distance. Hopefully I will get to do some more swimming this weekend but It's supposed to rain  according to the weather reports.

Have a nice 4th of July everyone!

Slacker!!

I have been labeled as a "blog slacker" by my friend Brad in O-town. (That's Orlando, Florida in case you're wondering.) I tend not to blog when things are ruminating and I know I'm being cryptic but I have to watch my words here. 

I had the best birthday ever!  I invited a bunch of people to have lunch with me at a sushi restaurant.  My brother said he was coming up from Nashville but then told me at the last minute he would not be able to come up.  This was a ruse because he showed up anyway as a surprise.  After lunch a few of us went to Coney Island and rode on the Wonder Wheel, and some other rides.  It was the Mermaid Parade so there were a lot of antics.  Afterwards we had a couple of martinis (too many) and ended up taking a midnight swim at Brighton Beach. 

I have sand all over my apartment.

Say a happy be-lated birthday to my birthday twin Erin, who is away on a cruise,the lucky girl.

Anniversaries.....

I almost forgot.  It was a year ago today. 

For the past year, I have noticed a lot of Google searches for breast cancer in my stats.  I can tell from the search words that these must be from  women who have found something suspicious in their breasts and are logging onto the Internet for answers.  Well, that's exactly what I did when I first found this strange, rubbery like mass that seemed to come from nowhere.  Here are a few facts about my experience:

• I checked my breasts on a regular basis.
• I had a mammogram just two years before and was given the all clear, and told to wait until my fortieth birthday to do another one.(I will be forty next week.)
• Between that mammogram and my diagnosis, I had at least two possibly three clinical breast exams.  One of them was just six months before this rubbery mass appeared.

I came upon this site which provides a laundry list so one can evaluate if a lump is cancerous or benign.  Here are some of the characteristics of a cancerous tumor:

• The lump is firm and hard. My tumor was soft and pliable.
• The lump is not discrete. My tumor could only be felt when I was lying down with my arm above my head. It was very discrete and described as such by the Dr.
• The lump is fixed in the breast; it does not move. Mine was movable.

(btw. all the characteristics of my lump appeared in the "not cancerous" list.)

This is what keeps me awake at night; I almost didn't go to the Dr. because of this.  I scheduled the appointment as an after thought and nearly blew it off. This decision could have killed me because the cancer was already in the lymph nodes at this point.

So if you have come to this site looking for answers about your breast lump, this is my advice to you.  If there is something strange or unusual going on in your breasts, run don't walk to the Dr. and demand a biopsy. Don't let any Dr., or nurse, or practitioner tell you that:

• You're too young to get breast cancer.  I saw a lot of women my age and younger in the chemo lounge for breast cancer.  Younger women get breast cancer all the time.
• It looks benign on the ultra-sound/Mammogram. A Dr. who is telling you this is lying to you.  There is only one way to tell if something is cancerous.  Biopsy.
• Let's wait and watch. Well let's just play Russian roulette shall we? 

Okay. I'm stepping off of my soap box now.

The hazards of photography....

I followed a link from Gothamist and read this article about photographer Simon Lund who was forced by a police officer to hand over his film to an irate mother.  She believed Lund was taking photos of her child and the next thing he knew he was surrounded by other family members and some cops.  The mother was yelling at the cops demanding that they make him turn over his film."

Eventually the cop told him "You should destroy your film right now, or give it to her. You've got to give up your film, or things are going to get much worse for you." 

According to the Photographer's Bill of Rights, written by attorney Bert P. Krages (you can download it here) A photographer has the right to take photographs in public places.  Additionaly, if you are in a public place a photographer has the right to take your photo without your consent.  This of course does not apply to restrooms, doctor's offices, dressing rooms etc.  However, if the photo is used for commercial purposes the photographer would need to get a release.

So Simon Lund was perfectly within his rights to take photos of rides in Coney Island, and this mother had no right to demand his film.  Nevertheless, a police officer was able to convince Lund to hand over his film, a day of work, under a thinly veiled threat.

It's something I worry about because people get very nervous when they see the size of my camera.  A few years ago I had just finished taking photos of the Verazanno Bridge When I walked toward a park because I noticed there was some activity.  It turned out there was a pro-Bush rally going on and before I even got to the park I was stopped by two guys who had obviously seen my camera and wanted to know who I was and where was I "from".  They thought I was "press" and I suppose by the way I dressed assumed I was also anti-Bush. 

I've had other awkward encounters.  A guy in a bar started screaming at me when I took some photos, a man came out and yelled at me when I took some photos of the stuff he was putting out on the street, and a woman on Brighton Beach screamed at me in Russian when I took some photos of her feeding some birds.  None of these situtions involved the police, nor was my safety ever threatened, (although the guy in the bar was kind of scary.  Perhaps he was a made guy.) but in the end, I did lose the work because I  deleted the pictures. 

This can be challenging for me because for the past few years, I see potential photographs where ever I go. The subway is an excellent place but I am really nervous to take photos there because if I do piss someone off, I am stuck on a train with them and I don't want to be involved in a scene.  It's a shame because I often miss opportunities to take some great photos. I could take more but I'm often intimidated.

Tomorrow I am printing this PDF and I will carry it with me whenever I'm shooting. 

Shower!!! Or It's official, I'm addicted to the internet.

Great balls of fire, how much longer is this heat wave going to last?  I can do little else but sit in my apartment.  Outside is absolutely toxic. I had to go to Manhattan this morning to see my surgeon.  He removed the dressings so I could take a shower!  I asked if I could go to the gym and he told me not to for a few weeks because it could cause swelling.  I suppose I could go and walk on the treadmill.  But it was so hot today I did not want to leave the house. 

When I got home, I had no Internet, no phone, and no television.  I was late paying the bill this month and I thought Cablevision had cut me off for non payment.  I was cursing them to the heavens because I had just paid the bill this morning and therefore should not have been cut off.  I have no signal in my apartment cave so I had to walk across the street, dripping with sweat and smelling pretty rank to call the cable company to find out what was going on.  Turns out there was service interruptions in my area.  It's obviously back up now.

Notice how I took care of the Internet problem before jumping into the shower?

West 12th Street, Coney Island, 2008

lornagrlphotos.com

Stress I don't need before surgery...

Since 2002 I have had seven surgeries, five of them ambulatory and in five different hospitals.  One could say that I am connoisseur of New York City hospitals and their ambulatory surgical services.  So I thought I knew what to expect when I arrived at Beth Israel Hospital for my surgery yesterday.

I was told an adult would need to be there when I woke up so they could take me home, because I would be too out of it to go home myself.  I asked my good friend Ruthie if she would take me home.  She offered to come to the hospital with me but since she was coming from NJ I didn't want to impose so I told her she didn't have to.  I had to be at the hospital at 2pm, Ruthie said she would be there around 2:30 or 3:00.

I was also told to "not bring any valuables".  So I did not bring some items I carry with me almost all of the time, such as my digital camera, or my ipod (I would have liked to listen to some meditation music before the procedure, oh well) and I took off all valuable jewelry.  I did bring my wallet, which contained my drivers license, a credit card, metro card, and $5 cash.  I never leave the house without these, especially when I go into Manhattan because one never knows when the bridges and tunnels may become inaccessible and I need to stay in the city for the night.

I didn't think twice about bringing these basic items because all the other hospitals had a cubby hole/locker to keep this stuff in while I was being operated on.  I understand that this is not Fort Knox (hence don't bring ipod, jewelry, or digital camera) but basic items such as wallet and metro card would be reasonably safe. 

So here I am with a nurse before the procedure asking me the usual questions: what medications I'm allergic to? When was my last surgery? etc.  She then pointed to my bag to ask if I had any "valuables" in there to check into security.  I told her that I didn't have anything of great value but I did have my wallet, credit cards etc.  "We have nowhere for you to keep that stuff while you are in surgery."

I blinked.  "You mean you don't have a small locker?  All the other hospitals had one."

All they could offer was to check these items with security.  This involved a security guard coming over, who could only take what could fit in  2" x 8" envelope, (and here is the real clincher) they would be taking the items, OUT OF THE BUILDING.  This means that after surgery, the procedure that would leave me too doped up to know where I was going, I would have to meander through the streets of Manhattan looking for an out of the way security building to pick up my wallet and keys.  WTF?? Needles to say, this wasn't an option.

"Well we told you not to bring any valuables."

Yes, but obviously I need these items to get to the hospital.  They didn't say, "come to the hospital empty handed".  They didn't say "you should have someone with you because there is nowhere to keep your stuff while you are in surgery".  Had they told me this, I would have asked Ruthie to come the hospital with me. 

I didn't know what to do.  Ruthie was running late, and I didn't know when she was arriving. I tried calling friends but they were either not picking up the phone, or were too far away to "babysit" my stuff before Ruthie got there.

"Well you're just going to have to wait until my friend gets here so she can watch my stuff, or reschedule.  This is absurd."  And I refused to change my clothes or do any preparations until my friend arrived.  Ironically there was a whole bank of empty lockers that were not in use in the changing room, and I had a combination lock in my bag that I used for the gym that I brought "just in case" but they wouldn't let me use it.

I learned from another hospital employee that they used to offer a locker to ambulatory patients but the "discontinued this" for some reason. 

Meanwhile, Ruthie is stuck in midtown traffic, trying to get to me as quickly as possible so I can start the surgery.  Fortunately Dr. Friedman was stuck in another surgery and was running behind anyway.  So an hour before surgery I am standing in front of Beth Israel Hospital at 16th & 1st waiting for Ruthie to pull up.

This was totally unnecessary and could have been avoided if  a) they provided a small and reasonably safe place to stash my wallet and keys before a surgical procedure, not an unreasonable request at all since OTHER hospitals do this and b) they had made it absolutely clear that someone should come to the hospital with me to hold my stuff because "we ain't providing it for you".  Instead I was put in an extremely stressful situation before a surgical procedure.  Thanks Beth Israel. 

As for the surgery itself, it went rather well.  I was in some pain and kind of sick yesterday I think from the anesthesia.  Anesthesia robs me of an appetite so I don't want to eat.  But other than that, I'm fine.

Under the knife....again..

There is nothing I would rather have right now, than a cup of fresh coffee and tall glass of orange juice.  There are tears in my eyes just thinking about it. 

I am having a surgery today, part two of the tram-flap reconstruction.  I've been looking forward to this because I am really tired of the dog ears on my sides.  I had every intention of going to the gym last night, but I wouldn't  have been able to get there until about 10pm and since I had to stop eating and drinking after midnight, I thought it was best not to do strenuous exercise with only an hour window to rehydrate.  I would risk it if the surgery was scheduled this morning, but the procedure isn't scheduled until 4pm.  I'm going to be very cranky.  Between you and me, I am really looking forward to the anesthesia.  I like to pretend I'm in an opium den before I go under.

Meanwhile, my birthday is coming up and I treated myself to this...which helped me take this...

Coney Island Creek...

I took Friday off and headed to Coney Island Creek to take some photos.  I had to climb over some rocks and walk across the creek in rather deep mud to get close enough to the wrecked ships.  (what I won't do for a good photo)  The whole time I was muttering under my breath "I am almost 40, I am almost 40", especially while I was climbing the rocks.

Thanks to Dalton Rooney for steering me in the right direction.  You can view the photos here.

Neighbors...

Dear neighbor,

I really don’t know why some of mail arrives with your apartment number instead of mine.  Perhaps someone at the post office screwed up, or perhaps I filled out a change of address card incorrectly, at any rate I am sorry that you sometimes receive my mail.  I have made every effort to make the corrections as I get them but once in awhile a letter will still fall through the cracks and is placed in your mailbox.

I’m sure it must be annoying because I can’t help but notice that you have now taken to writing on the envelope “POSTMASTER PLEASE RETURN. WRONG PERSON AT THIS ADDRESS.  THANK YOU. “ in big block letters and leave it on the mailbox for me, the mail man and the whole darn building to see.
Here is the funny thing.  Your apartment is literally inches from mine.  It is so close in fact that if your door and my door were opened at the same time I could enter your apartment without touching the hallway floor.  Your are that close…like thisclose.   What may I ask would be the hardship of simply dropping my mail on my doorstep as you are going back to your own apartment?  Honestly.  It would certainly take far less effort than, getting a pen, writing your diatribe in block letters and than going all the way back downstairs to the mailbox.  Furthermore it would be the NEIGHBORLY thing to do.  This way, I would not have to go through the hassle of losing my mail because you want to prove a point. Or better yet, why don’t you knock on my door and introduce yourself.  It’s good to know your neighbors.  You never know when you will need a cup of flour or a tea bag or something.

Sincerely,

Lorna (the formerly bald chick who lives next door.)

Wasted Saturday....

This is the first Saturday in weeks that I did not have plans, so I pretty much did nothing all day.  I did not go to the gym last night because of the rain storm.  Instead I had sushi at my favorite local sushi restaurant.  I also had some sake...too much sake.  I just can't drink alcohol like I used to since the cancer treatment.  I seem to get drunk quicker and with very little, and the following day (like today) I feel as though I have been hit by a truck.  Maybe it's an after effect of the chemo?  Who knows.

The housekeeper was scheduled to come this morning at 8:30 am.  Yes, that's right I have cleaning lady who comes once or twice a month.  My brother hired this service while I was in treatment and I got spoiled.  I feel really funny hanging around while someone else cleans my house so I took my camera and wandered around Coney Island in the early morning hours.  I stopped for coffee at the coffee and flower place.  It turns out they have wifi there and their coffee is really good. Nobody seems to be hanging out in there yet. I hope it catches on and stays open because the Starbucks in Brighton Beach is way too crowded and I like supporting local businesses.

btw: The certified letter turned out to be a letter from my breast surgeon to let me know it's time for my six month check.  I guess they mean business when you've had cancer.

An open letter to the party who sent me a certified letter...

To the party who sent me a certified letter.

I live in the depths of Brooklyn, and work in the middle of the island of Manhattan.  I am never home when the mailman delivers my mail, nor am I in the area to pick up your letter while the post office is open.  I am not refusing your letter, I simply cannot pick it up.  Therefore, you are wasting your money by sending mail to me certified because there really is no possible way I can pick it up unless I take a day off of work which I will not do unless I know who you are and why you are sending me something certified.  I've tried calling the post office, and they refuse to tell me who you are.

Why are you sending me certified mail?  My debts are all being paid in a timely manner.  I have excellent credit.  I don't drive.  What could you possibly want?  Who are you anyway?

(You wouldn't happen to be the grim reaper would you?)

If you have something to send me send the letter regular mail, or better yet, drop me an e-mail and let me know what's up.  It's not like I'm hard to find or anything.

Sincerely,

Lorna (who is never home)

Cancer cure with pie pans and hotdogs....

Um, no I did not make this up.  It was actually on 60 Minutes.  I got to admit that my eyes were rolling when I first saw the headline but after I saw this video I was actually going "hmmmmm" 

Brooklyn needs more gyms....

...especially south Brooklyn.  Crunch, New York Sport's Club -- their idea of placing locations in Brooklyn is to stick it in Carroll Gardens, Park Slope or Brooklyn Heights.  This is great for those who live in those areas but us poor schlubs who can't afford high rents and have been exiled to the depths of the borough are screwed.  The only gyms in my area observe shabbas which is useless to me if I want to work out on Friday or Saturday and the Bally's in Sheepshead Bay want's my blood.  This means I'm forced to go to the gym in Kensington which leaves a bit to be desired but is the only reasonable albeit inconvenient solution.

Nevertheless I have managed to stick to going nearly every day.  I skipped Friday because I wanted to take a night off and I couldn't do it on Saturday because I was out most of the day and the gym was ready to close by the time I got back to Brooklyn.  I am so thrilled that I am able to do this again. Since I started I am feeling stronger, and have a lot more energy.  I think the extra train ride will be worth it.

Coffee and Flowers?

There is a new coffee shop in my neighborhood. This one is a combination coffee shop and florist.  (There a lot of florists in Brighton Beach by the way.) This shop is located in what I believe is the only strip mall in Brooklyn.  I don't know how good the coffee is because when I stepped in for a cup, I was told by the florist (who at first spoke to me in Russian) that the coffee shop part of the place closes at 6pm.