Diagnosis..

When I was twenty-eight years old I had a pap smear come back with suspicious cells.  The Dr. scheduled a colposcopy which came back with pre-cancerous cells and they wanted to schedule a leap procedure.  I was preparing to go to drama school for the summer in Oxford, England and I really wanted to get this cleared up before I left.  I did not want cancer hanging over me while I was doing an intense summer program.   

At the time my insurance was an HMO so there were long waiting periods between each of the tests.  Stress doesn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling.  I was crying constantly and driving my boyfriend crazy.  I was only twenty-eight years old.  I didn’t want to be sick. 

I was literally in the procedure room with my feet in the stirrups, surgery ready to go when the Dr. stopped.  He wasn’t seeing any pre-cancerous cells in the microscope.

I heaved a sigh of relief.  I did not have cancer.   

Waiting for the test results this week has been treacherous.  Mostly because I know you usually can’t dodge a bullet like this twice.

I got the test results today.

Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma

And they suspect it’s already spread to the lymph nodes.

Comments

[gigglechick]

oh lorna, i'm so sorry to hear this. shooting out thoughts and prayers (i came here to see how gearing up for your birthday was going. damn.)

[Anne]

Lorna, I'm so sorry. This honestly brought tears to my eyes. If anything just because now you have to deal with it, this. Again, you are in my prayers. I wish I could be more articulate. But you know I'm pulling for you.