lornagrl

Whole Foods

I went to Whole Foods for the first time yesterday. I am trying to eat organic as much as possible and I wanted to see what they had to offer.  I have to say I wasn't all that impressed. The prices were ridiculous ($11.00 a pound for shitake mushrooms?) and the line -- while fast moving -- was ridiculously long. 

Perhaps I would feel differently if there weren't so many organic produce options in Brighton Beach.

Some organic produce is just as pricey as Whole Foods but at least I don't have to wait on a long line or  take a detour on the F-Train to get it. Granted if I were making a meat and potatos meal and wanted to go organic, Whole Foods would be the way to go but I'm not eating meat anymore.

Which comes to my diet.  I know I am going to have to buckle down and stick with raw veggies as much as possible but I have found the transition to be a bit of a challenge. The plan is to cut all animal protein (including dairy)eliminate sugar and stick with mostly vegetables and fruits.  I have applied some of the Budwig Protocol primarily flax seeds and organic cottage cheese (no hormones). Obviously cottage cheese would be the exception on the no dairy front.

I have been very good about sticking to this except occasionally I break down and get some no-no food.  Like today for example, I went out and got Chinese food for lunch.  Since I have been eating mostly salads I wasn't used to the sodium and the meal just made me very groggy and excessively thirsty.  It makes me wonder what I was doing to myself all these years.

Rest in Peace Lori...

I got sad news this morning.

I learned that Lori Miller passed away this weekend.  I first found Lori's blog a few months ago and she was an inspiration.  She was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of an unknown primary just seven weeks after her wedding in 2002. 

She started the Too Sexy for my Hair group on Flickr.  I have been posting some of my photos from my 365 Days (the breast cancer edition) series and she had given me encouraging words in August. 

Rest in peace Lori.

btw Lori's husband Cary has an excellent cancer news blog that's loaded with useful information about alternative therapies and cancer research.

Too many books..not enough time...

My surgery is scheduled for November 12th. 

While my last MRI was excellent, there is still a slim possibility that I have some remaining cancer cells in the breast and possibly diseased lymph nodes.  I have opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction. This means that they will be reconstructing the breasts with fat from my stomach (shut up). 

A positive way of looking at this: I am having a boob job and a tummy tuck. 

In the next few weeks I have to prepare for being somewhat out of commission for a month or so.  For example today I stopped at Barnes and Noble to buy my Christmas cards.  I was a bad girl last year and actually skipped the Christmas cards.(well I did send some electronic ones)  I am determined to get my cards out by Thanksgiving this year and since I will be recovering from surgery on that day I thought it best to buy the cards today.  While I was there I picked up two books -- that's two books to add to the growing list of books that I "intend" to read.

Like most New Yorker's I do most of my reading on the subway. Unfortunately there are many books I'd like to read that are the size of cinder blocks, so I either don't get to read them or worse, start to read them and get tired of hauling the book around and leave it at home in favor of The New Yorker or a physically lighter book such as The Catcher in the Rye or Breakfast at Tiffany's.

This is hard for me because I'm a bit obsessive about finishing a book before starting a new one. When I set a book to the side for any reason I feel like I've cheated on my boyfriend or something. So while I was standing on line at BN waiting to fork over my credit card for some yet more books to add to my collection, I decided to make a reading list of all the books I've abandoned and will try to get through them all while I'm convalescing.

Canon sd1000

I used to have a little Canon SD500 that I would carry with me where ever I went.  But I lost it in a burglary. (the one day I left the blasted thing home.) It's been well over a year and I just replaced it.  It should make it easier to keep up with 365 days.

This was taken on the train this morning. Still not cold enough for the hat.

Good news....

I had my last chemo treatment on 10/12/07.

Just to explain -- this was neoadjuvant chemotherapy.  They were hoping to shrink the tumor prior to surgery.

The following are my results from the MRI I had on 10/9/07.  Note: this was before my last round of chemo on 10/12/07.

Findings:   In the interval since prior examiniation, there has been essentially total resolution of masslike abnormal enhacement in the right breast at the site of previously described bilobed mass.

Impression: More or less unremarkable MRI of the breasts; near total resolution of previously seen malignancy by MRI from prior study of 6/25/07.

Translation -- the tumor is gone, not shrunk but gone.

I will be seeing my surgeon on 10/24/07 and will most likely be having a double mastectomy with possible reconstruction around the first few weeks of November.  (I don't have a surgery date scheduled) This will be followed by 5-6 weeks of radiation.

Keep sending me good vibes and good thoughts.
(they seem to be working)

Peace.

Self portrait...

Self destruct you mother f******!!

I've learned a new word this year -- apoptosis : n.  Disintegration of cells into membrane-bound particles that are then eliminated by phagocytosis or by shedding.

In my research I have found that ellagic acid brings about the self destruction of cancer cells specifically in cancers of the breast and prostate.   Good sources of ellagic acid are:

• Raspberries
• Walnuts
• Blueberries
• Strawberries
• Pomegranates

So, I've been consuming raspberries and pomegranates in vast quantities, so much so that my tongue turns red. I think I live in the best hood in Brooklyn for this.  The Russian community loves fresh fruit and veggies.  Fancy Farm has the freshest fruit and is my source for fresh pomegranates and raspberries...

Who da thunk it???

It turns out Nikki has a blog.  I didn't know this until I noticed it in my stats. 

logosknitter

..and my friend Liza, of the famous milk quote, launched her blog a few weeks ago.  Take a gander and read her essays about life in Columbia University land on the upper west side.

106th and Amsterdam

Litter training...

So Ophelia has been acting up lately and I'm at a bit of a loss...

She did not come litter trained because her mother was feral so she was not exposed to a littler box until I brought her home.  Nevertheless she is a smart kitty and picked up on it right away.

Warning: If you are squeamish about cat poop you may not want to read any further..

Recently she has been defiant about using the litter box.  I can always tell when she is about to go because she cries a little bit and then right in front of me squats to either pee or poop.  Sometimes I will yell "litter box!!" and I swear, she knows what this word means because she will often run to the box to finish her business. 

Lately this has stopped working.  I asked the vet about it and he seemed to think that she may be reacting to my chemo treatments, that it was possible she could smell the chemicals, and come to think of it, she does tend to act up on the weeks that I have treatment.

Last night I was watching television when she started to show signs.  She started meowing, ran around the apartment and then, (sneaky little devil) right in front of me started to squat.  I jumped and scooped her up just in time and carried her into the bathroom and put her in the litter box.  She jumped out and I had to chase her around the apartment before I could catch her again.  When I finally did, I took her back in the bathroom and shut the door and waited. .... and waited and waited but she wouldn't go.  I would gently put her in the box and she would jump out and sit on the floor. I wasn't going to let her out and she did her business.  After about fifteen minutes I got up and left her in the bathroom by herself.  I went online and read about retraining cats.  It involves keeping them confined to one room until they learn how to behave. 

After almost an hour I had to use the bathroom myself so I went in.  Ophelia desperately wanted out but I didn't let her.  I sat on the commode and watched her.  She took one look at me and then jumped in her litter box and ...

well you know.

So I'm not sure what the problem is.  I keep the box immaculately clean, scooping it at least once a day.  I changed the size of the littler box, removed the lid, and the litter I use is the softest on the market.

What could it be? 

What ever the cause, it can't continue because I shouldn't be handling the litter box with my compromised immune system.  Also I'm having surgery in a few weeks and will need someone to watch her.  I can't very well leave her at a friends house if I know she is going to soil the place. 

Cancer Blogs...

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in June the one thing I did not want to do was turn this blog into a cancer blog.  My life, my self is much more than cancer. 

However as the months have past I have come to realize that, like it or not cancer is always going to be on the back burner.  Even in the best case scenario I will always have that dark little c cloud hanging over my head.  I won't be able to cough, get an itch or feel an ache without asking myself the question "is this the cancer?

I have spent the last few days pouring over some cancer blogs like Katie's blog.  She was diagnosed with what appears to be the same type of cancer I have and taking her cancer very much in stride. Her posts are quite humorous.  I also read Sarah's pages and I must admit it was a harrowing read.  Sarah was diagnosed with melanoma of an unknown primary at the age of 27.  For the next three years she lived her life while battling this relentless disease (melanoma doesn't respond as well to chemo as many other cancers do.) and faced misplaced lab reports and an incompetent and unsympathetic oncologist.   She passed away at the age of 30 on June 12th just three days before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

From Katie's site I found this article in The Atlantic.  It was not an easy read but I'm glad I read it.  It points out that there is no way doctors can predict the outcome of breast cancer because the doubling rates can change over time and chemotherapy can inevitably leave behind cancer cells.

So this what I have to accept. I am a walking, talking, breathing and otherwise healthy carrier of cancer cells and doctors do not have all the answers. 

How do I live with this? 

I've mentioned that I don't like to read other stories about breast cancer so instead I've been focusing on alternative and or nutritional options.  I want to work on things I can control, do everything I can to either kill every cancer cell in my body are keep those little buggers from spreading. 

From time to time I will be posting information I find here.  But I won't only be posting about cancer.

I am much more than a disease.