An open letter to the party who sent me a certified letter...

To the party who sent me a certified letter.

I live in the depths of Brooklyn, and work in the middle of the island of Manhattan.  I am never home when the mailman delivers my mail, nor am I in the area to pick up your letter while the post office is open.  I am not refusing your letter, I simply cannot pick it up.  Therefore, you are wasting your money by sending mail to me certified because there really is no possible way I can pick it up unless I take a day off of work which I will not do unless I know who you are and why you are sending me something certified.  I've tried calling the post office, and they refuse to tell me who you are.

Why are you sending me certified mail?  My debts are all being paid in a timely manner.  I have excellent credit.  I don't drive.  What could you possibly want?  Who are you anyway?

(You wouldn't happen to be the grim reaper would you?)

If you have something to send me send the letter regular mail, or better yet, drop me an e-mail and let me know what's up.  It's not like I'm hard to find or anything.

Sincerely,

Lorna (who is never home)

Comments

[George M. Calger]

Can the post office forward a certified letter to you at work? Can you get it on Saturday from your P.O.?