Neighbors...

Dear neighbor,

I really don’t know why some of mail arrives with your apartment number instead of mine.  Perhaps someone at the post office screwed up, or perhaps I filled out a change of address card incorrectly, at any rate I am sorry that you sometimes receive my mail.  I have made every effort to make the corrections as I get them but once in awhile a letter will still fall through the cracks and is placed in your mailbox.

I’m sure it must be annoying because I can’t help but notice that you have now taken to writing on the envelope “POSTMASTER PLEASE RETURN. WRONG PERSON AT THIS ADDRESS.  THANK YOU. “ in big block letters and leave it on the mailbox for me, the mail man and the whole darn building to see.
Here is the funny thing.  Your apartment is literally inches from mine.  It is so close in fact that if your door and my door were opened at the same time I could enter your apartment without touching the hallway floor.  Your are that close…like thisclose.   What may I ask would be the hardship of simply dropping my mail on my doorstep as you are going back to your own apartment?  Honestly.  It would certainly take far less effort than, getting a pen, writing your diatribe in block letters and than going all the way back downstairs to the mailbox.  Furthermore it would be the NEIGHBORLY thing to do.  This way, I would not have to go through the hassle of losing my mail because you want to prove a point. Or better yet, why don’t you knock on my door and introduce yourself.  It’s good to know your neighbors.  You never know when you will need a cup of flour or a tea bag or something.

Sincerely,

Lorna (the formerly bald chick who lives next door.)

Comments

[Erica]

Five dollars says your unneighborly neighbor is Russian. Were it me, not only would I march over to your place and introduce myself, I'd probably brush past you in the doorway, walk into the kitchen, and say, "Yo, where do you keep your coffee," and then brew us some so's we can schmooze. Because that's the Brooklyn thing to do.