lornagrl

..You would never know...

I had my monthly shot yesterday, the one that puts my ovaries to sleep.  There are a few perks from this.  Mainly, no more monthly visitors and believe me when I tell you that I don't miss those.  Nope.  Not one bit.

 

Last year, one of my doctors (a man of course) told me that I might want to think about having my ovaries removed because "It's going to be a pain in the ass to come in once a month for that shot."  Oh really?  And the raging hormones, major surgery, mustache growth, weight gain, crying for no reason, permanently chopped up and scarred (as if I NEED MORE SCARS)... rendered permanently infertile...that would not be inconvenient at all...would it now?

(Did I mention raging hormones?)

I must point out that he was right.  It is a major pain in the ass, (and quite literally because that's where they give me the shot) to do this.  And it's time for me to just admit that I hate going back there.  I hate being weighed, I hate getting my blood pressure, I hate the smell of the doctor's office, I hate seeing bald people, I hate being reminded of all of it..and I wish I didn't have to go there at all, much less once a month.

But I go because I know that if it does get to be too much, I can just stop, and things go back to normal.  If I have my ovaries removed, I very well can't put them back in.  Can I?  Plus, the estrogen that my ovaries produce, just might fire up them cancer cells...and we wouldn't want that..would we?

It's strange because aside from these shots, I would never remember that I was so sick, that nearly two years ago I truly thought I was going to die.  Now I have a new job where nobody knows I was sick, and my hair is getting long, and still curly.  A few co-workers ask about the curly hair.  They ask if it's natural.  I tell them it is.  It's been well over a year, and is showing no signs of growing straight. 

Speaking of hair, I'm getting my second hair cut post chemo today. I get my hair done in a salon in Brighton Beach.  The first time I got my hair done there was at least six months before I got sick.  I had been keeping my hair fairly short but had decided to let it grow long so I didn't get a hair cut for awhile.  Then I got sick, started chemo and all my hair fell out.

Two months ago I walked into the same salon to schedule my first post chemo hair cut.  The Russian girl behind the desk (after first trying to speak to me in Russian) asks me if I want my hair done by Josef because he did my hair last time.  "Well is he good with curly hair?" I ask.  She looks at me incredulously "He's done your hair before." to which I replied, "Yes, but I have since had cancer, had chemo, lost all my hair, and it's curly now.  It wasn't curly before".

Awkward pause..

"He's good with curly hair." she tells me.

I am not very good at being sick...

It's day three of this horrible cold.  I'm hesitant to say that I'm feeling a little better.  The body aches have stopped but I still have a scratchy throat, and I'm sneezing and sniffling which for me is a sign that the cold virus is leaving my body.  Nevertheless I don't want to push it because I don't want a relapse.  My new job only gives me five sick days a year.  I've already used two of them and it's only February. 

So what does this mean?  It means sitting holed up in my apartment with DVDs a crazy cat who keeps jumping up and down and believes she can climb the walls, and my laptop which I recently discovered has a crack at the top of it.  I do have knitting to get done and books to read...but I'm getting cabin fever. 

achoo....

Sick..sick...and my bus driver was an A-Hole.

It's 5:15 am.  I have been up since one. I am achey, tired and miserable.  I don't get sick often..but when I do..It's often a doozey.  This is no exception.  

Yesterday I left work at 4:30.  I shouldn't have come in at all yesterday, but there were emails to deploy and I am not set up to work from home at this new job.  By 3:30 I knew I pushed it too far.  I had telephone conference scheduled at 4, I had to back out. 

So I am trying to get home with the least amount of walking in the cold as possible because...who knows..I may develop pneumonia...and I'm waiting for the bus, which is not something I normally do, but this bus will actually drop me off right at my door.  I am waiting for the B68, but when it pulls up the 6 is not lit and it just looks like the B  8 bus.  No matter, I know it's the right bus so I step on.  A few minutes later, and elderly man gets on the bus and asks the bus driver "is this the B68?" to which the snotty bus driver replies.."what does it read up front?".  I chime in "Yes sir, it's the B68 the  6 is burned out on the marquee"  and I look towards the bus driver and ask "Dude, You don't know what bus your driving?"

What a jerk!  I mean was it such a hardship to courteously answer the gentlemen's question?  What if he was blind?  

Other people on the bus were shaking their heads.  The next stop was mine, and the bus driver repaid me by jamming on the brakes so I almost fell over when the bus stopped. 

Nice. 

Home Safe....

I just got back from seeing Wicked....and I just had a frightening experience.

The show got out at 9:45 pm so I decided to go to the 7th Avenue station to catch the D train to Atlantic, then switch to the Q. The B train stops running at 9 pm so I was real surprised when a B train pulled up. 

Now the problem with taking the B train is that it's not the closest stop to my apartment, but because it's express it's the train that I almost always take.  But because the B train stops running at nine,  I usually take the Q train when I come home late.  One of the most annoying things about Brighton Beach is that everything closes so darn early.  By 8pm almost all of the stores are closed except for a bodega or two (which are always crowded because everything else is closed.) and some cab stands.

When the B train pulled into Brighton Beach I noticed there was a man sitting on the opposite end of the car.  He was obviously drunk and muttering to himself.  As I stepped off of the train he called out to me "hey baby...your beautiful, I'm gonna come get you.  Hey come here baby"..I looked around and realized that there was nobody around...I mean NOBODY.  I ran downstairs as quickly as I could and of course (budget cuts) the ticket booth was closed.  I reached into my bag for my cell phone and continued running down the stairs to the nearest bodega and bought some orange juice before making sure the coast was clear so I could go on home. 

Too many....

martini out of the blue
Originally uploaded by -liyen-.

Last night I went out with my friend Ruthie to see Fuerza Bruta (fabulous show.. go see it). After the show we went out for drinks. We started talking about boyfriends, lost friends, shattered acting careers, does he really love me? Should I get married?.. kind of talk...that had us both close to tears.

Neither one of us is that sentimental. Unless of course we have been fueled by the lethal martini. (s)(s)(s)....I know how many we had (I have the credit card receipt to prove it.) I'm just too ashamed to post it on the internet.

I don't drink too much anymore so when I do it really hits me hard the next day. (today) and I'm writing this post from my bed. I ditched church this morning to nurse a hangover..I can't help but think..I spent too many months feeling sick to induce sickness willingly.

..off to the store for orange juice, bagel and black coffee, the perfect hangover cure.

Bad Lorna.

Spread the Joy....but not the "Thank You"

Ah..the perks of the new job (well not exactly new.  I've been here six months now).

The past few weeks I've been able to see (free of charge)

August Osage County
Hedda Gabler

..and in the next week or so I'll be seeing:

Fuerza Bruta
Wicked
Mourning Becomes Electra
33 Variations

Fortunately I'm often able to score an extra ticket, which means I can take a friend..you know spread the joy.

...so much joy in fact that I brought dounuts in the office for my co-workers this morning.  One of my co-workers wrote a post about it.

The moral of the story..be careful of the "reply all" button.

25 Random Things...

I was recently tagged on Facebook....25 Random Things About Me:

1) I used to be an actress
2) I used to live in Florida and Tennessee.
3) I'm left handed.
4) I did very well in college I was Phi Theta Kappa, Deans List, and the President's List.
5) I can play the guitar (even though I haven't done it in years)
6) I am allergic to penicillin
7) I survived a life threatening/catastrophic illness and it's changed my outlook in life.
8) I'm a christian and go to church on Sunday.
9) I eat organic food as much as possible but still eat too much junk food.
10) I have had nine surgeries.
11) I baked an apple pie for the first time a few months ago. I used too much nutmeg.
12) I'm actually a good cook I just don't do it very often.
13) I taught myself how to knit.
14) I was baptized catholic.
15) I have a cat named Ophelia.
16) I went to the Oxford School of Drama in Oxford, England.
17) I've been to Rome.
18) I've been to Mexico.
19) I'm a photographer now...I don't know how that happened.
20) When I gave up acting and started working...I discovered I was a geek...who knew?
21) I'm an email marketing professional.
22) I live near the beach...
23) I've lived in Brooklyn for over ten years and LOVE it.
24) I have lots of friends from diverse back grounds.
25) I am thankful for every day.