Jade Goody died Sunday morning. It seems very strange to me. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer in August 2008. I remember seeing it on the news. There were photos of her looking absolutely devastated and terrified and I knew exactly how she felt. I felt so badly about her and I didn't even really know much about her. I loathe reality television shows. I also wanted to send her good vibes and tell her..it's okay. You'll do some chemo, maybe radiation, your hair will fall out but it will grow back. It may even grow back curly. You will get through this...
The weeks after I was diagnosed are all a blur. What I do remember is I spent hours and hours scouring the internet for other blogs. I wasn't interested in statistics. I never trusted them anyway. I wanted to read about others who had been through it and pulled through. I came across Karen's site. Karen George found a lump in her breast but her Dr. didn't see the need to send her for a mammogram or a biopsy. The Dr. even told her not to worry if the lump got bigger. A year later, the lump was bigger and she developed a hacking cough. Tests later revealed that the cancer had spread to her lungs and bones. I sent her an email to see how she was doing and that I had been recently diagnosed. This is the email she sent back..
I had a pretty bad diagnosis. Stage 4 with mets to my lymph nodes, lungs, and bones. After 8 rounds of chemo, a lumpectomy and lymph node dissection and 6 weeks of radiation, I was cancer free. Or so I thought. About 10 months later cancer was rediscovered in my brain. I had nine tumors, one was over an inch in diameter! I had another 15 rounds of radiation and now I am once again in remission. My doctors are completely amazed by my recovery. In fact, I’m training for a marathon right now.
I want to tell you this because right now, I know it must seem completely overwhelming to you. But, you can get through this. It might be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but you can do it. I am a huge proponent of Mind over Matter. I believe with meditation you can assist your treatment and tell convince yourself that you will be healed. Convince your mind, and your body will follow.
Please let me know how things go as your find out more about your staging. Take care of yourself, Lorna and give me a call if you need to talk.
A few months later I learned that Karen's cancer came back. It has spread to her ovaries. She died in August of 2008.
Tomorrow morning, I am going to see the plastic surgeon to have my nipples tattooed. I was supposed to do this back in November but work kept me from it. I kept putting it off for some reason. I didn't know but I think it's because I hate going to the Dr. now. After the procedure tomorrow I am going to my six month visit to the oncologist. I have nothing to report to her. I feel fine. I'm not achy, or sick. I'm not tired. I have a healthy appetite. I go to work everyday. I see my friends. A pill once a day. A shot once a month. That's it.
Two women, one who gave me encouragement, another who I would have liked to given encouragement to, they are both dead. I seem barely scathed.
Is my turn coming?
Re: "Is my turn coming?"
God forbid.
Posted by: Erica | Mar 22, 2009 at 08:18 PM