lornagrl:::

Scaffolding Down

Today, as I was coming home from work I almost walked right passed my building because I did not recognize it.   Since I moved in to this building in 2009 there has been scaffolding.  (the urban umbrella).  I've always wondered why this building has not been converted to co-ops.  Most buildings around this area have been.  I presume it's because of the work that needs to be done.  They were re-doing the decks and doing some other stuff.  When I filled in the application to move in here, the building manager told me that this was all just temporary.  Well that was nearly three years ago and today - they took the scaffolding down while I was at work.  The building looks naked without it.

There is still a lot of work to be done.  The lobby looks terrible, and my doorman is an old guy who sleeps in an office chair.  I'm rent stablized, but that does not mean cheap rent. It just means stable.  Management is required by law to offer me a lease renewal, and there is a limit to what the landlord can raise the rent too.  When all this work is complete, it is likely that I will be hit with a MCI (Major Capital Improvement Increase).  Not sure I'm going to want to pay that.  I am paying close to market rent for this apartment now, and would probably have no trouble finding another place in this neighborhood for the same price.  But then, moving is a hassle, and it is not likely I would find anything as large. 

School is out.  I am not taking any summer classes, but I am taking some English classes next semester.  I already have the reading list for one of them (19th Cent. British Novels) so I can get the jump on reading.  I am sad to report that I did kind of phone it in last semester.  I have a lot on my mind, and have been rather tired.  But even so, I was able to earn a B, which is pretty darn good for "phoning it in". 

Whenever a semester wraps up, I feel as though I am on vacation. I still need to go to work, but I have no projects or tests looming over my head.  Since starting school I have neglected my photography, and this really bugs me.  Photography is an important outlet for me.  I have invested a lot into it both financially and emotionally.  I shouldn't let this slip.

My Poems (Rejected by The New Yorker)

In my creative writing class, we had to do a unit project on poetry.  I am not really into poetry but I have to admit I really enjoyed it.   I got so confident I decided to submit to them The New Yorker.  (They were rejected of course). But lucky, lucky you.  You get to read them here. 

Broken – by Lorna Keuning

Don’t you remember?
You are not supposed to be here
You, were given a stay of execution
Why are you so special?
Others were not as fortunate as you

Don’t you forget?
You were bald and burned
You are now chopped and scarred
Like humpty dumpty you fell off the wall
and were put back together again

Why are you here?
You walk through these corridors
that smell of stale milk, you hated school
what are you trying to prove?
what curdled dreams are you trying to resurrect?

You shouldn’t be here
The fleet of doctors, nurses and surgeons all thought so
Don’t you remember their feigned enthusiasm?
as they strapped you to the chair, and filled you full of poison
and strapped you to a table and cooked you till your skin cracked
and you had to beware of germs
and the cat scratch
and the smell of hand-sanitizer still brings terror

Yes, the dim smile with the lie behind their eyes
They knew the truth you see, they’ve seen others just like you
with the files growing thicker as the patient gets thinner.
Nobody dares tell you the truth.

But you are still here
you sometimes look up with shock
it hits you hardest in board meetings
while dim-witted suits talk nonsense.
You breathe clean air with no pain
what makes you so special?
Dee, Karen, Lori, Emily

Are all dead.
but you, you lazy sack are alive.
broken and bruised maybe
but alive.
now what?

=======================

(This one was originally a blog post from 2003)

The Winds of Isabel – by Lorna Keuning

So what do you do when a tropical storm is heading your way?
After a hectic day at the office, you take the subway home
but get out at the stop before yours to meet J*** at the local pub.
He is late.
The lines of communications have been twisted.
You thought 6pm at one pub he was at another..
thank God for cell phones.

The wind is picking up as you find a parking space in front of your house
plastic garbage cans bounce down your street
you light candles and drag the futon mattress into the living room
open the seven foot windows wide and let the breeze flow over you.

The breeze becomes so intoxicating, you decide to go to the beach.

So you give up your parking space and drive
collect flash-light, take off shoes and run
through the wind beaten sand and straight to the surf
laughing, and jumping up and down.
Only a few others are as crazy as the two of you
you can see their shadows in the distance.
You run into the surf and feel the pull of the ocean
and know that just a few steps further in
the force will pull you out to sea.

Water is hard to see in the dark
only white caps are visible
so you shine the flashlight.
You look down and see that J*** has not taken off his shoes.
When you get home you get sand all over the apartment....

 

Thanksgiving in Kensington

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all.  My Turkey plans fell through the cracks when my friend got a surprise ticket to Houston.  I had other places I could go, (Nashville, Orlando, a friend in the slope) but I decided I didn't want to travel.  I am in the midst of a staycation that was meant to be spent catching up on my school work.  Instead I have been in the land of nothingness, or put another way, "doing what ever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it."

As for my Thanksgiving meal I hadn't given it much thought because I wasn't expecting anything to be open.  I walked over to Church avenue to get some much needed coffee and was gobsmacked that Connie's was open, so I had breakfast.  It was crowded too.  I noticed that Connie was having a thanksgiving special which I decided to make my plan B.  I checked on line and found that The Farm on Adderley was having a prix fixie for $55 which was more than I wanted to spend, but I knew it would be delicious.  I opted for the roasted parsnips, traditional turkey and an apple crisp and I got it to go, because the reservations were filled up.  So I enjoyed my turkey dinner while watching movies.  All in all, not a bad way to spend the holiday. 

But lazy time is over I need to get crackin on some assignments.

Test almost delayed due to fire....

I have been studying for my cognitive psychology test for a week.  I get obsessed about these things.  When I know I have a test I can think of little else. I don't read anything else, I don't watch any movies.  And considering it has been over a month since I last posted, I neglect my blog. I focus on the test. This particular test was on short term memory, and long term memory.  I studied the primary and recency effect, Brown Peterson Technique, procedural memory, implicit memory, explicit memory, engrams, nemonic encoding principal, retrieval structure principal, speed up principle, sternberg task, self schema, long term potenation... I could go on but um.  I forgot what comes next.

Ha ha.

So by Tuesday I was pretty fried and was just ready for this test to be over with.  I work from home on days that I have class.  My plan was to get to school early so I could find a quiet corner and do one more study crunch before the test.  But when I got to James Hall, I noticed there was a mass of people filing out.  I saw one of my classmates who told me that the building was being evacuated, but nobody knew why.  I asked a security guard what was happening and all he would tell me was "this is the real thing".  By this time there was  crowd of students on the sidewalk, and we were told to go across the street. Then the fire trucks came.

Most of the students were waiting around to hear if class was going to be canceled or if we were going to be let back into the building.  Nobody knew any details, but I did hear rumors that it was an electrical fire.  We all speculated on what was going to happen, and we didn't quite know what to do?  Our professor was nowhere to be found.  Should we leave or stay?  It was starting to rain.  One of the students sent an email to the professor who replied and told us to wait.  After about ninety minutes we were let back in. 

How did I do on the test? I will find out after the Thanksgiving holiday. 

 

Another Semester ::::: DOWN

Got my grades today. I got an A in music, an A in art history and a B in psychology.  The B is a bitter pill, but I was expecting to do a lot worse.  Overall, I am very happy with this semester.  It was rough in some ways, easy in others.  This summer I am taking an English Lit course.  That will be four nights a week and we start with reading  Beowolf.  Then in the fall I am taking two philosophy courses and one sociology course.  Still don't know what my major will be.  My first choice is  Anthorpology, but I will have to quit the day job for that. 

As for financial aid and scholarships, I fall through the cracks. I make too much money to qualify for grants or financial aid.  If I made less money, I could not afford tuition.  I'm too old for a lot of scholarships, (the cut-off age for most of them is 35).  The only way I can afford to pay for college right now is to have a 9-5 job and that limits me to only taking classes on evenings and weekends, and the job is not really 9 -5.  I work anywhere from 45 - 70 hours per week.

I don't know how I'm going to do this.  So I just don't think that far ahead.  I just keep taking courses until I can't anymore.

I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it, I guess.

Kitten Season at Sean Casey in Kensington

Words cannot desrcribe how much I have been looking forward to these three days off.  I am finished with spring semester.  I know I got an A in one class, not sure yet about the other two.  It could land anywhere really and I'm actually pretty nervous about it.  On Saturday I went out to shoot some photos and stopped at Sean Casey Animal Rescue off of Fort Hamilton Parkway.  It is kitten season that's for sure.  I don't think I've ever seen so many kittens there.  A few of them were a little onery and will definately need a little TLC. 

I adopted Zelda at Sean Casey almost two years ago. She was a little rough around the edges when I got her and it took her a little while to warm up to me. They say you are supposed to handle formal feral kittens as much as possible to get them socialized. Well Zelda was having none of it. She hated to be picked up and held. Still does. But she grew up to be a very sweet cat.

Zelda as a Kitten

Zelda Today

Managing my Time

This semester has been very strange.  That is a very odd thing to write because it's only my second semester at Brooklyn College.  I  over extended myself for sure.  I signed up for five classes. (what was I thinking) I thought I could handle the load while still working full time but I was mistaken.

I dropped one class at the beginning of the semester, more for timing than anything else.  The class was at 6:05pm and I didn't think I could make it on time each week.  So that left me with four, which is still a full time load.  I decided to withdraw from my sociology class.  This was partly due to the professor.  She was vague with her assignments which would not have been so bad except she wouldn't respond to emails either. I had mixed feelings about dropping it because I did find the class very interesting.

So now I'm down to three, Music, Art & Intro to Psych.  Music, I'm doing well.  There have been no grades yet for the art class.  There is a sketch book (we have to actually draw for this class) and a final.  The Intro to Psych is what I'm worried about.  I didn't do too well on my midterm, and if it wasn't for the curve, I would have flunked it.  I was pretty upset about it actually because I had studied very hard for this test.  The professor wasn't  very specific about what was going to be on the test, she just told us the first five chapeters.  That was it.  That was all she would tell us.  So I spent an entire week spending every waking moment when I wasn't at work reading these five chapters.  I thought I was prepared.

But I made the big mistake of working on the day of the midterm.  I don't like to blog about my job, but it had been a very, very stressful day so I was a bit frazzled when it came time to take the test.  And it turned out that the test did NOT cover all those five chapters which means the time I spent studying those other chapters were a waste.  If the professor had narrowed it down a little more, I could have been better prepared.

This is the challenge of working full time while going to school. My time is so valuable and has to be planned just so. One might say, well that's college for ya, the teacher is not always going to narrow things down for you.  But unfortunately I do not have that luxury.  My time has to be spent very wisely. 

I must not have been the only one who complained because for the final the professor announced that she was narrowing it down a bit more.  But in the meantime I have some catching up to do.  I have been working some long hours at my job, and it is sometimes hard to go home to study after a long tedious day. 

I have been doing some reading outside of school.  I made this resolution because I relaized I hadn't been reading for enjoyment anymore and I think that reading is so important.  I think if you just read for work and school your mind goes stale.  I just finished John Adams by David McCullough which I thoroughly enjoyed.  It took me a long time to read it though.  I highly reccomend it.

Ode to Mom & Pop Stores or Frank Sinatra Lied to Us

There is a local computer store on Church and 3rd (or is it 4th street).  It's right accross the street from that dreadful Golden Farm.  Tuesday night I came home from work with my laptop because I was going to work from home.  I work from home on Wednesdays because I have class on Wed night and it's a faster commute from home to Brooklyn College.  Well this Wed. I had a midterm and it was the last night to study.  It's was bout 8pm I realized I had left the electrical chord to my work computer at the office.  This meant I had no way to plug in my work laptop and since the battery doesn't hold a charge for very long, I was basically screwed.  Here were my options.  Take the F-train back to Manhattan to go back to the office to pick up the electric chord.  This was a bad idea for two reasons.  1) It would take up at least two hours that eat into my valuable study time and 2) i was pretty certain that I would not be able to get into the office with my card key after 9pm thus it would be a wasted trip.  Another option was to get up very early in the morning to get to the office to pick up the electrical chord but that also wasn't the best idea because it would eat into my work day and I might not be able to leave on time to take my midterm.  Now I know what your thinking - why not just go to the store and buy a new electrical chord.  Well, the irony is I could do this if I lived in Orlando, or Nashville where there are stores open until 10pm or 11pm.  But for reasons I have never understoood, the stores are not open very late in NYC. Some of them close at stupid times like 7pm or 8pm.  Yup.  Frank Sinatra lied to us.  City that never sleeps my ASS!! 

But STAPLES was open until 9pm.  AND THEY ARE USELESS.  I wasted ten valuable minutes on the phone (so I could confirm that they had what I needed before making a wasted trip) and couldn't get anyone who could even speak coherently. 

Yeah - I was basically screwed.

So I thought I would try that mom & pop internet cafe/computer store on Church Ave.  I thougtht they might be closed for the night, but I had nothing to lose.  When I walked over I noticed the light was on and the gate was down.  But I was so desperate I walked up to the door and rattled the gate basically begging the poor woman inside to please let me in so I could make this purchase.  I have no doubt I looked crazy waving my laptop and begging to be let in. 

But she let me in, gave me a good scolding for bothering her while she was trying to close. But, she had exactly what I was looking for. It took her two seconds to find it.  She even tested it to make sure it was  right for my computer.  I was so grateful, I gave her a hug, and she gave me a fortune cookie for good luck.

So thank goodness for privately owned business. I was able to stay home and study, and my computer had an electrical charge all day.

Now how I did on the mid-term?  Let's not go there.

Going to School Full Time While Also Working Full Time

So this is my life right now.  I am taking classes on weekends, and working full time as an email marketer during the week.  I work from home on days that I have classes in the evening so I don't have to commute to Brooklyn College from my office in Manhattan.  This semester got off to a slow start.  I didn't have too much work to do at first but now it's starting to get very, very busy.  This week I have two papers to write and a test to study for.

I am already behind this week. It is 1:00 in the morning, and I'm writing in my blog.

To save on expenses I decided to take in a roommate.  I met Corey at my previous job.  Corey is an actor, and a playwright.  He spends his evenings dillegenly working on his screen plays and when he's not doing that, he is taking voice lessons and going to the gym.

He makes me look bad. 

Corey is also a contributing writer at RealcIty.com.  Check out his article about his first job in NYC, taking orders at a Kosher restaurant.

I have no doubt he will be writing an article about living with that crazy lady.

Back to tbe books.. 

 

The B68 Screws Me Over..

I know that the MTA always tells us to allow extra time for travel, but what happens when you allow extra time and you STILL don't get there? 

A few weeks ago, I was waiting for the B103 on Flatbush Avenue after a night class.  I waited for over an hour but two scheduled buses did not show up.  All other options were either a major pain in the ass, like taking the 2 or three train to Prospect Park and switching to the Q train or walking a very long distance and accross campus to Coney Island Avenue to pick up the B68 bus.  Both options involved walking through dark and very icy sidewalks, and both options involved waiting for multiple trains and buses.  I was not happy. I got home at 10:30 pm when I should have been home at 9pm, at the latest.

Yesterday I had an appointment at Brooklyn, College.  I had made special arrangments to work from home and get off at 4pm so I could get to the college by 5pm. Last semester when I took classes  I could get to school in fifteen-minutes so an hour should have been plenty of time. 

Oh silly me.

As I was walking towards Coney Island Avenue I saw the B68 bus go by.  This would have been at about 4:05 pm.  I didn't worry because the B68 is supposed to run every five or six minutes or so.  But I stood there for well over a half an hour.  In that time at least four scheduled buses did not show up. FOUR, 1,2,3,4.  There were other people at this stop waiting, a few gave up.  One woman opted to sprint down Courtelyou Road to try to catch a comming B103 bus. 

And of course when the bus finally does show up at about 4:40 it is packed to the gills and every stop along the way has at least 25 people waiting to get on.  It was packed, and miserable.

Needless to say I was late for my appointment.

The train isn't much better, it's a longer walk to the Q train and I would probably have to wait 15 to 20 minutes for that and, I can't really take the Q train home because Manhattan bound service has been suspended from Avenue H until ???.  This means I would have to take a Coney Island bound Q train (oh the memories) one stop to J street, only to take a Manhattan bound train back to Beverly Road. 

Seriously, if it wasn't for ice all over the sidewalks I would just walk. 

I am sure it will do absolutely no good what so ever, I am thinking about writing a letter to the MTA and demand an explanation.  I can understand one bus not showing up but four.  FOUR?  That is simply not acceptable. 

Maybe I should buy a car.